It has finally warmed up to 43 degrees inside. It was a gloomy cloudy day so the house didn't warm up well. I haven't changed. I am getting used to eating less, though I fantasize about food. Maybe I will go out tonight. I have a potato and a piece of bread. I have cans of tomatoes too. I have a whole lot of fat to use up so I won't starve. When I do go out, I will buy a whole bunch of dog food, especially canned food.
I feel anxious and I am less and less interested in anything. I don't look forward to anything. I am just tired.
There Christmas cartoons on tonight. I wish I would do just one or two of the things I imagine doing every day.
I am really disappearing. I am so sad.
Tomorrow will get a bit better. There is survivor on. I feel as connected to the survivor fan from Malaysia as I do my children. If there is a god, I will die quietly, sooner than later. I hurt.
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