Sunday, December 19, 2010


Oliver sent me his email address saying he rarely goes on facebook. so I sent him an email ... letting go...

Sending this because you said you don't go on Face book much.
I don't talk much to anyone ever anymore. I am a recluse.
I am not really battling much less winning re depression/anxiety.
You have always been kind to me and a good friend .. I treasure this memory. I stopped talking to you to keep it. It's selfish...I am sorry.
I pretend living in cyberspace and because I can feel normal and  at times enjoy interaction as though it was more real.
I survive, though I don't live well. My family knows but are not interested. I think they hope I lose my house ... and I hope I die first. I wish I was not learning just how poorly I can live and survive. It's worse than you would imagine and yet it doesn't kill me. So I can't complain.
I do wish you and children and Leigh a very merry Christmas.
I was never good at friendship ... Sorry for that, and for all the times I didn't come through with what I promised or intended.
Love Leslie
I don't think I will die by letting ... and I know I will be tempted to grasp onto my kids now and then, but I aim to not do that. It's enough to know they are well. And besides, I see small glimpses of Christie through what she posts.

I am out of wood inside and temperature is dropping back down to 40 degrees ... I need pants .. to do laundry go outside ...

I have princess pawing me for what she wants ... she doesn't like to be ignored ... or sometimes I think she wants to remind me not to let her go ... I really do think she lives to help me live.

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About Me

United States
speaking to a universe without ears