Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bullying

Facebook bullying and hate speech is easy to run into when you post on Survivor because of the strong feeling people have about the players. But facebook's management of it was slow and then the system which was intended to regulate hate speech and bullying was turned against those who took a stand against it. I made a suggestion to Facebook on safety and caused others to do so and I wrote this to Ellen in hopes brings to light.
RE Bullying/Bigotry on Facebook 
As an active poster on Survivor, I was not surprised by the dislike of players, but the hate & racial slurs against them were far worse than their “unlikable” behavior. I took a stand against those who used racial, gender & sexual orientation slurs re Brenda, Sash & NaOnka & flagged comments that included such language. Others followed. I was "rewarded" with hateful gender & sexual posts targeting me, especially when I encouraged those who found posts offensive to flag them. It hurts to be attacked. I suffer from an anxiety disorder, stemming from being bullied & molested as a child. Finally, these offensive posts stopped. People find it easy to be mean when they vent; nasty attacks towards NaOnka continued without offensive language. I continued to take a stand & used humor to encourage folks to chill re hate. On the finale night I was blocked by facebook & I was not the only one. Those who took a stand then or before or flagged offending posts had their posts flagged, though nothing was offensive about them. Bullies/bigots found a way to use the protection against bullying/bigotry against those who took a stand. There’s no way to appeal a block or to see why or what posts cause it. Today, I figured out how to send a suggestion to facebook, but with millions of users I fear it will fall through the cracks. I thought perhaps you could help. One thing I’m sure of in life is that what happens to me is not unique. 

Love Being Kind, Leslie
I sent this too as my entries submission for the twelve days of giveaways:

I am 54, on disability for an anxiety disorder/depression. To be honest, I cannot imagine how I could win ... no harm in trying & I'm taking a stand — to stop the shunning of those who are depressed, caused in part because people are encouraged to keep only positive people in their lives. I truly hope my life has a part in changing this. I love being kind. I've lived my life that way. My hope is to see it celebrated more & valued & noticed in everyone's life.
Love being kind
It says you are given 2120 characters and so I wrote this which was whittled down to the above!

I am 54, on disability for an anxiety disorder/depression, stemming from being bullied and molested as a child. To be honest, I cannot imaging a world where I could win ... but I don't seem any harm in trying and I am taking a stand. Thing is, I can't use most of the gifts; ideally, I would give away most to my children, esp the trips to my daughter so she could come to the mainland, making it more possible for her to visit family and friends, and the electronics to my son who is starting out and would enjoy them so much, and the rest to family/other people who would love them. What I need is so much more basic than these luxuries, but giving is possible for me and I find it rewarding and healing and kind of like food, only not fattening. I would also be equally, if not more thrilled, to see Brenda Lowe of Survivor win this in my stead, because I was so in awe and delighted by her kindness towards the 2 quitters who joined her the day after she was voted off. I would like to see that kindness celebrated and she is extraordinary in her instinctive response to the unexpected. I am so thrilled to see so much space available to tell one's story. Tomorrow I will use this space to talk about bullying because 1500 characters is too little to tell that story. I enter not so much because I expect to win, but more to see kindness celebrated. It's clearly undervalued and I don't think it is enough to be kind though that is important. Nasty behavior is more noticed and given a public forum. I think kindness deserves at least equal time. Also, I am taking a stand ... against inspiring being the main reason to win. I write about depression in a journal, because you are shunned when you are depressed, in part because people are encouraged to keep only positive people in their lives. Depression is not understood. I truly hope my life has a part in changing this. I love being kind. I have lived my life that way. My hope is to see it celebrated more and for it to be valued and noticed in everyone's life.
For a moment I was thrilled. oh well ... Today, I feel good about my creativity in my active stance against bulling/bigotry and for helping and inspiring others to do likewise.

This is my next entry for Ellen's giveaway.

What I need is so much more basic than these luxuries, but giving is still possible & it’s rewarding & healing & kind of like food, only not fattening. I’d be more than thrilled, to see Brenda Lowe of Survivor win this in my stead, because I was so in awe & delighted by her kindness towards the 2 quitters who joined her the day after she was voted off. I would like to see that kindness celebrated & she was extraordinary in her instinctive response to the unexpected quitters.
Love being Kind, Leslie

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About Me

United States
speaking to a universe without ears