I love reading my poetry out loud and honing it. I suppose it explains why I retell stories over and over and they always feel fresh... not to the unfortunate listener of course.
Throughout, I am always thinking, imagining, engaging in conversations, often with famous TV people, like Ellen or Oprah (in my mind). One of my poems brought me back here. Dr, Ill and Pope Rah! Why? Because nobody disses Oprah! It just not done... so of course I had to... how could I not? Nothing should be sacred ... not even Oprah. And because I have been thinking about Ellen and writing in. I have thought about writing in before, many times, and I have even written a letter which I never sent.
This time it was because she talked about being kind, about not standing by while another is being bullied. I think there were at least 5 gay teenagers who killed themselves within a span of two weeks. It sparked a renewed interest in combating bullying.
What I wanted to say was how to pay attention and listen to someone who is being bullied and hear them, as wrote earlier about Christie. I wanted to tell her my story in hope of her hearing me. A selfish cry for help. I wanted to tell her about kindness, about how bullying scars you and how come people chose death. I understand and I live knowing it intimately.
Thing is, everyone talks about kindness and has concern, but no one hears their pain; Not on TV. Ellen only publicly helps happy people, people who have overcome their past difficulties, people who inspire, people who are pretty to look at, both physically and emotionally... people who watch her show everyday... Who does that anyway? I watch her TV show a lot and I miss episodes... how does anyone living a life see her show everyday? And why does she only help people who do? ... Just asking.
I remember when Ellen brought up kindness before and tried to involve her audience ... and how quickly that faded. Ellen is clearly kind. She brings laughter and light into peoples lives. There is a cost. A shallowness is portrayed. And the most needy, lonely, despairing people are left out.
Reminds me of politics. Today, everyone is talking about helping the middle class. The media will mention that an overwhelming percentage of people are below the poverty level as a statistic only. No one wants to talk about the elephant in the room. It is unpopular to help the poor and needy ... ok as generosity ... but as a social norm, to act as though it is disgraceful that we, as a society, have the level of poverty that we do? That's called a bleeding liberal. People in need, deserve to be where are ... or so we think... they are leeches on society... Ok to bail out billon dollar companies who then pay themselves millions of dollars, but heaven forbid we raise the minimum wage so that someone can pay for basic needs such as food, shelter, and heat. We want to be richer and we feel that helping those in need, not by our personal choice but by social structure, is a horrible thing to do. My brother, Rich alluded to me being less than honorable, by settling my debt and paying less than I owed. Thing is, the companies that raised my credit limits, without my request, and profited for years on the interest I paid are somehow not responsible for being so irresponsible in their lending practices. They are the experts in managing money and yet I am supposed to be more accountable then they are. I feel guilty ... they do not. They got billions from our taxes and yet we cringe, as a society, at using taxes for programs to help people in need. Nobody is thinking the whole thing through.
I think we so hate the thought of ourselves being poor and accepting help, because work hard for what we have, we feel cheated and robbed if others get some of what we have freely. OK to give and be generous as a person, horrific as a society... how does that makes sense?
The same way Ellen does. Which is why she is so inept at fostering kindness and showing what it is.
Can anyone imagine Ellen's generosity reaching someone like me ... living in horrific conditions, without friends or family, in a deep depression ... just because it would be kind?
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