"Almost all absurdity of conduct rises from the imitation of those we cannot resemble."Sounds plausible, however, leaves the question of who decides what is absurd.
I thought I was not sinking anymore, but I am. We had warm weather and I wasted it sleeping. I find it harder and harder to walk across the yard. Even Princess does better than I do. I succeed at getting to the dump but haven't paid three key bills. I am exhausted physically and mentally and I think how impossible it will be to make it through the winter.
It's a dark place to be.
The next entries in my old obituary journal were written during July 2008
in july 2008
transcend suffering and injustices that have been perpetrated against us – I fail this, can I ever change or step beyond it? Do people transcend or do they never succumb?
I also wrote this simplistic poem, untitled.
If only I was the daughter you wished for
if only I was the girl you always wanted me to be
If only I lived elsewhere, as you say, “near” to you
If only I was the something else other than me
Yet, if I were to not be me
I would not want to be
and then Whisper also in July 2008
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