Monday, September 6, 2010

about what matters

I wish I could explain well and clearly about kindness and how it relates to what really matters so that it could be understood by paople who would care to know.

I wrote a poem, Kindness, and one called Taken By Infinity, and When In Is Out which express what I think is valuable about being alive.

From observing myself  and how people act, I believe many people see "what really matters" as some absolute that has a universal point of view. But it does not. "What really matters" is made up by each individual. It is about what really matters to them. "What really matters" is each person's own creation.

We know what it is like for something to have mattered, to have made a difference. It does't have to be life-changing to be real; it can be just about that moment in time. Yet, when we evaluate what matters and makes a difference to someone else, we neglect their point of view. We see through our eyes not theirs. We see our time as wasted if the outcome doesn't change as either we or they would wish.

We forget that we only ever live in "now."

Kindness has no "me" in it. It's not big or small. It's about doing something that matters to someone else. Their awareness of the "you" in "what you do" is irrelevant.

This is not to in anyway belittle a good deed done with a return on investment attached. Nice is nice. It is just not kindness. There can be a self-benefit from kindness. The benefit is not relevant as a part of the "now" of the act. It may be a motivation or it may be an outcome.

One might consider that being selfless is about being involved with what matters to the other person, without regard to oneself, rather than being about what one may or may not gain or lose.

It amazes me how easy it is for people to ignore what matters to those they love and cherish (never mind mere acquaintances or strangers). Just because they cannot make sense of it.

We often misunderstand that time with someone, regardless of what you are doing together or talking about can have inherent value and truly matter, and not necessarily to you when it matters to them.


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About Me

United States
speaking to a universe without ears