Vincent Van Gogh

I love Doctor Who. What an extraordinary idea of kindness to transport Van Gogh to the present day to see how great painter he really was.

One of the quotes in show that he is privy to overhear is this:

"To me Van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly the most popular great painter of all time. The most beloved. His command of color the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and, joy and magnificence of our world, no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. That strange wild man ... was not only the world's greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived."

And how honest an ending that he die in despair anyway, committing suicide even after knowing his legacy.

Next quote is from Amy after learning he still committed suicide:

"So you were right. No new paintings. We didn't make a difference at all."

And the Doctor answers:

"Don't say that. The way I see it is every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey, the good things don't always soften the badness, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things."

I sent the above portion to my daughter in an email adding this at the end:

You add to my pile of good things ... being able to give to you adds my good pile ...like the pool time we spent together, like buying the iphone ... like betting on how many votes you get ... so many things add to my good pile

Before this exchange in Doctor Who, Van Gogh said that he didn't things were going to end well for him. I know where I am going. I don't think anyone can do anything about it. But, I am not there today.

The past 24 hours have been extraordinary. Christie was nominated for a $10,000 college scholarship for her blog that is to be awarded based on a internet popularity contest. A make-up blog was winning until the science nerds on the internet intervened and she is now way ahead ... It was thrilling to watch her move from around 250 votes mid afternoon against someone with over 2700 to 6200 by  12:30am, to 8000 by 4 am to over 12,000 by 6pm. Her competition has not yet reached 3800.

She has created connections to very great scientists and bloggers and she matters to them. I am so happy for her. The competition goes until November 5th so I have lots of time to enjoy this.

I found Oliver on the internet.  Haven't really interacted. He is special to me. A truly great friend in my life. One with benefits. He is dear to me. The memories I have of him are good. He added to my good pile big time. I know I will write him. When I do, I will enter it here.

I emailed Paula as well. I think I will tell her more.

Anyway it has been a crazy 24 hours. Survivor was on and I have been enjoying posting about it. More on that later too ... and my cyber tribe is up to 57 ... my new goal is 75 ... 3 x there recommended size. I am pretty sure I have the largest tribe ... and I want to keep it that way. I am promoting kindness and humor in how I interact on the blogs .. taking a stand for it in fact... having fun.

Kinda of amazing to have been listening to a rerun of Doctor Who and stumble upon this exchange between the characters. I told my daughter yesterday that she did not understand depression, but that what I asked for always matters and that she needed to buy the iphone from the money she has of mine ... for me ... like when I told her to buy the wetsuit when she asked if she could the money for it. It never occurred me to say no. She will probably be able to repay me as she did for the wetsuit, but that never really matters. It's nice that she can because it let's me help her again or give her and Kian something they want ...

But in the end I don't think I can win ... I do think it will be tragic and horrible and drawn out. But today, I think I am seeing a possible way to have a go at another round of hope and trying ... not sure... maybe though... I see an inkling of possibility.

As to what was said to Van Gogh ... what a terrific possibility to imagine ... for me it would be my poetry and kindness and humor. It's a lofty goal to reach for and worthy of attempting even if failure is the final result.